It’s Quiet. Too quiet…

There is something to be said about the pace of attempting to keep up with the wild lifestyles of today. It seems that many of us have struggles with balancing home, career, self, etc. I am certainly no stranger, I like to keep moving. Mentally, at least.

I was recently in Vegas for Google Next earlier this month, and I have plenty I want to share about my experience there, but I returned to a hectic week of activity chasing a specific client, which was rougher than usual as I was sleep deprived and dehydrated from the desert, not to mention some of the events hosted that week. I put the work above some other things in my life that week, moving a couple of social engagements, pulling focus back into the work arena.

My older brother (1 of 2) lives not far from me, just a couple towns over. 11 Years older than me, he has always been a free spirit, rebellious, and a little anti-social. He had a birthday on the 18th, and had a couple of days off in his schedule over the weekend. I had a busy Friday that would take most of the day and evening, and already booked Saturday with some other family members to travel north for the day. We agreed to make plans this past weekend to grab lunch at his favorite local restaurant, hear about Vegas and some of the work that I was chasing, and celebrate his birthday like a couple of old guys.

My weekend was eventful, the week after was busy as well, with Thursday being the pinnacle of activity. The week entailed further updates to the contract and terms with a major client, repairing a rock chip in my windshield, cat-sitting, an All Hands, some more business development, and a couple of events after work. I found myself free finally Thursday evening, and was able to enjoy an early dinner and some Netflix to wind down the day, before reaching out to finalize plans Saturday with my brother for birthday lunch.

I was contacted shortly after coming home by an unknown contact on social media requesting a phone conversation. A coworker of my brother had noticed his unplanned absence from work on Wednesday, which was not like him, and asked for a well check by the local PD after knocking on his door and getting no response. Local PD made an attempt, but did not force entry. On Thursday the 25th of April, he still did not show for work, and a second well check was requested with local PD and Fire.

My brother was found unresponsive in his apartment, curled up in bed, and had passed in his sleep under a quilt our mother had made 40-ish years ago. My heart was absolutely broken.

My brother had many challenges in the past decade, ranging from drinking and hygiene issues, hoarding behavior, and a slow decline of some of his mental faculties. He was homeless for a period in 2018, when the house he was inhabiting had fallen down around him, and was removed via county HHS and other agencies. I was not notified, and learned of this when asked by friends ‘what’s going on with your old house in Newark?’ I tracked him down to a shelter in the area, made contact, and refused to drift apart for more than a week/two ever since.

He was able to get assistance to obtain an apartment, found a job at Big Lot’s, and remained there for the past six years. He was personable, polite, and very independent. I was very proud that he was able to overcome his challenges and be a part of society. He was one of my biggest supporters, and was always interested in how my work was going. He loved that he was part of our family, and was able to have a relationship with my partner, her son, and found a surrogate maternal figure in my partner’s mother. He looked forward to her cooking at every holiday.

I have one less fan in the stands today. Academically I know there is a crowd of people that love, support, enjoy what I do/am chasing, but the silence of that one voice is deafening.

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It must be universal